""I don't think we should be governing ourselves. Everything He ever makesdies. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Scratch any cynic, and you will find a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. ", 63. ", 6. F*ck Hope. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. "The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. The ad-id cookie is provided by Amazon Advertising for tallying user actions by tracking ad clicks on other websites, to provide targeted content. ", 82. Why? "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. OK? That's about as close as you could get to pegging him as any party affiliation. Thats against their interests. Set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin, this cookie is used to record the user consent for the cookies in the "Advertisement" category . You have no choice. 'George Carlin - Life Is Worth LosingRecorded 5 Nov 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New YorkReleased: January 10, 2006Audio-visual content monetised by copyright claimant, MPI Media If youre pre-born, youre fine, if youre preschool, youre fucked.. Toothpicks? Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? ", 116. It also helps in fraud preventions. George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you - YouTube 0:00 / 0:37 George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you ThreeToedPete 955 subscribers Subscribe 502 Share 35K. George Carlin. They don't care about you at all -- at all -- at all. Everything He ever makes dies. "Religion is like a pair of shoes: Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. The cookie stores information anonymously and assigns a randomly generated number to recognize unique visitors. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. "Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. An old clip of George Carlin is gaining new life after this week's reports from the Supreme Court on abortion. "Forget the politicians. "I put a dollar in a change machine. "Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice? ", 53. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. ", 113. George Carlin quotes and jokes about politics and religion "Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. He was as prolific as he was profound, with a career spanning nearly five decades, 23 albums, 14 HBO specials, 130 Tonight Show appearances and three books (plus posthumous releases). I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Where are these people hiding? Theyre anti-woman, simple as it gets, he said. and if you want to make this about "comedy" then Carlin should tell these things called "jokes". I say: 'No no no,' because that really would be the kiss of death," Carlin said in his final interview before his death in 2008. This cookie is native to PHP applications. '""The difference between left and right of centeroriginated in the Frenchparliament. The sp_landing is set by Spotify to implement audio content from Spotify on the website and also registers information on user interaction related to the audio content. "The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. ""Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? If youre offended by foul language dont watch this f**king video. This cookie is managed by Amazon Web Services and is used for load balancing. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Carlin is usually spot on. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. I think the life cycle is all backwards. RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. You know what they want? If you can't beat someone, arrange to have beaten him. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. Weve also included some of his sketches from YouTube, viral videos of jokes you might have heard once or twice before. Theyre not interested in that. George Carlin. I just dont have as many people who believe it. George Carlin, Now, theres one thing you might have noticed I dont complain about: politicians. But this week, his voice has brought to life a new anti-Trump video called America Wake Up, created by a. Never join a group that has a name. However, Ice Cube has endorsed neither Trump nor his Democratic rival, former Vice President Joe Biden. They don't want to hear from you . "Would a fly without wings be called a walk? "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. ", 107. "Some people see things that are and ask, 'Why?' This cookie is used for identifying the geographical location by country of the user. They've got you by the balls. "If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it? "If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? In the clip, Carlin says the pro-life movement isnt pro-life at all. ", 35. 1 Every year in January, WEF holds its annual meeting in Davos, Switzerland. '", 73. George Carlin gives him the finger from the grave. "Governments don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. With his daring satirical jokes, his words will make you laugh and make you think profoundly about everything you experience. And if somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. "I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the s**t out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. Hes all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just cant handle money! George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dreambecause you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly. George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. This is what we have to offer. Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers . G eorge Carlin was ahead of his time. ", 76. The 2023 theme was "cooperation in a fragmented world," with WEF noting, "The world today is at a critical inflection point. Let's start with critical race theory. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. ", 77. Ice Cube added the brief caption, "Facts.". These Politicians Don't Care About You At All The failures of people who supposedly represent the people Photo by Marco Oriolesi on Unsplash When people elect leaders in a democracy, the. ", 23. ", 109. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. Good honest hard-working people white collar, blue collar, it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. After that, they don't wanna know about you. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.' PayPal sets this cookie to enable secure transactions through PayPal. This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. "You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby . ", 43. Your culture and entertainment cheat-sheet. Weve added years to life, not life to years. They want your fuckin retirement money. The late comedian often times poked fun at religion, politics, and social justice. It will not be with jack-boots. This information is used to pick out ads delivered by the platform and assess the ad performance and its attribute payment. Laugh until you gasp for breath. I think I need to show them that I have brought myself to a cleverer, smarter spot than they have.". I firmly believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain. And nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. ", 110. George Carlin. "Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. Bing Ads sets this cookie to engage with a user that has previously visited the website. They dont care about you at all. They own everything," the quote reads. The video featured audio from George's Wake Up America bit combined with imagery of events and people in today's society. It enables the embedding of Mix Cloud audio player. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Carlin passed away in 2008 before he could see the prescience of his comedic wit and intelligence with the rise of Republican Donald Trump's candidacy this year. "It's important in life if you don't give a s**t. It can help you a lot. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. "Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. Ice Cube also recently voiced concerns that neither political party would actually be able to make a positive change for the betterment of Black Americansand that's reportedly the rapper's whole reasoning for working with the White House on the Platinum Plan, which aims to develop Black businesses and communities. December 2, 2015, 3:27 PM. "We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. LinkedIn sets the lidc cookie to facilitate data center selection. ", 45. In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, Back In Town, Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving! [5] And another one: To avoid conflicts, each partner's ID is stored using separate cookies, which are merged to the ljtrtb cookie when it is available. If you think too much, you will be left behind by everyone. "If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth Losing. "There's a humorous side to every situation. 27 Feb 2023 13:57:17 If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. (LogOut/ Carlin is funny as hell. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. Now I feel better. New evidence may suggest they don't and many voters are skeptical, too. "If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. Used by Microsoft Advertising as a unique ID for visitors. Enjoy! If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. The ID is used for targeted ads. The Romantic Comedy You Should Watch This Valentines Day, Based On Your ZodiacSign, Valentines Day Streaming Guide: The Best Rom-Coms To Binge On Netflix, HBO Max, AndMore, How Narcissists Use Dog Whistling To Covertly Abuse You: Signs Of This Dangerous ManipulationMethod, 11 Christmas Movies To Watch If Youre Dealing With Heartbreak Over TheHolidays. "By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. Used by Zoominfo to enhance customer data. "It helps to remember this.. Thats what the owners count on, Carlin intones. ", 7. Bing sets this cookie to recognize unique web browsers visiting Microsoft sites. '", 70. ", 16. ", 115. He has written many books full of brutally honest sayings and jokes, like Brain Droppings, When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?, Last Words, and more. (LogOut/ Theyll get it. George Carlin. It's so f**kin' heroic. of American cultural paradoxes.. Determines whether the visitor has accepted the cookie consent box. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. Its you. Check out100 Best Dad Jokes50 Thinking of You Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday Motivation Quotes101Bad Puns200Jokes for Kids, Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television. YouTube sets this cookie via embedded youtube-videos and registers anonymous statistical data. "Some people see the glass half full. Everybody complains about politicians. Set by addthis.com to determine the usage of addthis.com service. They believe a womans primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state.. The Monday night crucifixions! If a dog can do it, you can watch. Everybodys going to save something now. ""Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. Term limits aint going to do any good; youre just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. These George Carlin quotes on life showcase his wit, ingenuity and geniusand, occasionally, his potty mouth, which was part of his signature charm. Known for his funny and sarcastic quotes, we think you'll get a kick out of his words. They own everything. "I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. ' Avoid teams at all costs. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". They own, and control the corporation. '", 93. "Laugh often, long and loud. "I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. This cookie is set by Segment to count the number of people who visit a certain site by tracking if they have visited before. I'm your huckleberry. ", 48. He died in 2008, the week after he had been named the recipient of the Mark Twain Prize . The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. If youre preborn, youre fine; if youre preschool, youre fucked. Now come the lawsuits, Weird Texas GOP bill would give big tax cuts only to hetero couples with lots of kids, Libs Of TikToks Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, 5 times The Onion brilliantly skewered J.K. Rowlings & The New York Times transphobia, A right-wing podcaster tried to smear Pete Buttigieg. It helps in consumer profiling for online advertising. Whats that, a bonus? They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. ", 92. YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video. ""Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that. ", 18. "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. "Things you never hear: 'Please stop sucking my d**k or I'll call the police. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. They OWN YOU. They dont give a fuck about you. Cloudflare sets this cookie to improve page load times and to disallow any security restrictions based on the visitor's IP address. This cookie can only be read from the domain they are set on and will not track any data while browsing through other sites. It helps in improving the performance. Lijit Advertising Platform sets this cookie temporarily, when multiple partners pass their IDs to the platform simultaneously. No other time but to see how human nature really shines, am I right? The people are fucked. George Carlin, Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. "There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. On Sunday, the 29-year-old Angie revealed that not . Its because volunteers work for no pay. George Carlin They Don't Give a Fu@k About You - YouTube George speaking the truth. Carlin was known for keeping things real, and his funny jokes were sure to get a laugh out of anyone. This ensures that the cookie consent box will not be presented again upon re-entry. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence? George Carlin, If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? School officials told the couple that they present an inherent harm to kids.. Well, we know what they want: They want more for themselves and less for everybody else.". They own you. Everybody's . The uuid2 cookie is set by AppNexus and records information that helps in differentiating between devices and browsers. Religion is like a pair of shoes, you have to find the one that fits you. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. Nothing changed. Honestly, I'd lean towards anarchist. ", 22. George Carlin's 'Wake Up America' bit went viral in July 2020. You have OWNERS! Rubicon Project sets this cookie as an internal user identifier that stores user data to be used for analytics. "Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. This cookie is set by pippio to provide users with relevant advertisements and limit the number of ads displayed. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and They own everything. ""You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? In his 1996 HBO special Back in Town, the late comic legend and social critic George Carlin nailed the hypocrisy of social conservatives who rail against abortion and birth control with "pro-life" rhetoric while simultaneously attacking social . You know what the motto for this country ought to be? A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! "I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. They dont want that. 123 Rocky_Roku 1 yr. ago Didn't he say that he despised liberalism just as much as conservatism? They own you. Thats the problem. George Carlin, I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin, Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking; theywant obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. George Carlin, How can He be perfect? The session information includes the identity of the user, recently visited links and the duration of inactivity. You have owners. Obedience, respect for authority. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. The Great George Carlin. What if I want to have a crappy day? And generally speaking again it's all generalized the left-of-center people are more concerned with humans and human beings and human concerns; to the care of humans, not the care and worry about property rights. "Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Well, where do people think these politicians come from? Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. The GUC cookie is set by Yahoo for Yahoo conversion tracking. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, What if there were no hypothetical questions? George Carlin, The planet is fine. ", 84. Like the public. 42. Try spelling Evian backward. F*ck Hope. Whatever you do dont make it go viral! In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent, civilized human beings in the 21st Century. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. Ice Cube visits the "Sway in the Morning" show with Sway Calloway on Shade 45 at SiriusXM Studios on December 07, 2018, in New York City. ", 105. Take George Carlin, for example. No nothing. Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. ", 11. So I don't trust none of them. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. This cookie supports the website's live support provider. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. ", 40. Amen and Awomen. ", 111. -26 1amathrowaway 1 yr. ago They're all in favor of the unborn. You should die first; get it out of the way. You probably know what pinkwashing and queerbaiting are, but how about abrosexual and multisexual? ", 31. 'He's two' will do just fine. Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. But, he is wrong here. Others see it half empty. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. ", 10. LinkedIn sets this cookie to remember a user's language setting. Thats what all that adolescent, macho, male posturing and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about. Hatred/ bias against opposition: Have you noticed that nearly every time, Mr. Trump is questioned, or feels accused, etc, he replies by bringing up his less - than - popular former political opponent, Hillary Clinton, and repeats claims which have been refuted and disputed, numerous times, but his core followers, continue to accept? 234. Save the planet; we dont even know how to take care of ourselves yet. This cookie is set by Facebook to display advertisements when either on Facebook or on a digital platform powered by Facebook advertising, after visiting the website. You don't. You have no choice. Fascism won it. The Bachelorette's Angie Kent and Carlin Sterritt have been on holiday together in Vietnam the past week and sharing lots of glamorous selfies. Everyone Practices Cancel Culture | Opinion, Deplatforming Free Speech is Dangerous | Opinion. "I don't believe anything the government tells me.". January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. "The planet is fine. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. Contents 1 Quotes 1.1 FM & AM (1972) Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, The Funniest Political Quotes of All Time, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. ", 29. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. This cookie is installed by Google Universal Analytics to restrain request rate and thus limit the collection of data on high traffic sites. ", 60. ", 2. But dont participate; it will be your death. ", 3. The table has tilted, folks. Theyre not interested in that. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. You have no choice.
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